He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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