I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
In America we eat man semen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize