there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
