Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
