I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
