just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
