i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
