Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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