you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize