i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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