his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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