It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize