I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
