Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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