Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
