dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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