Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Bring me that man meat
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
