My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
