What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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