you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
