Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
