whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
