I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
