Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
