I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
