i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
