So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
