hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
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...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
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You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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