OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
