Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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