When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
