grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Randomize
