I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just pee around me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
