We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
