be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
