Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
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