last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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