the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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