Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
