i barfeds in our rink
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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