She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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