you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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