So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
