god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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