the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
