I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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