shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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