I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
