your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so explain again why im purple
no
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
