I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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