I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
