Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
