I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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