Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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