So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
