Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
