Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
