you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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