this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
