My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
