I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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