Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
